I survived

..... my surgery. Thanks for asking, Diz, my friend.

I am still a bit sore. The not so bright nurse in post op told me that I needed to see the surgeon in a week, and not to take off the wrapping (the one that went from mid thigh all the way to my ankle) until I saw him. I was quite miserable with that wrapping. My knee was at a strange angle and the wrapping kept trying to slip down. I was so miserable trying to sleep... I just couldn't find a good position. I counted the days (and when it got closer, minutes ;) until I could get it off. When I went to the doctors the nurse told me I could have taken it off after 3 days. Grrrrrrr......

Anyway, it's been 3 weeks. I still have some pain, and the knee makes popping noises.... a lot. It happens everytime I stand up. The surgeon told me that could just be from the extensive arthritis I have in that knee I am getting around a LOT better, though still limping a bit, which is causing massive back pain. Yesterday I probably walked 2-3 miles. I took Kayleigh Trick or Treating 3 different times. I used 1 crutch, and it seemed to help alleviate the back pain.

The surgeon ordered the Synvisc shots for me (the ones for artritis in the knees) I suspect it is going to be a fight with Caremark (our Rx provider) to get these shots. Double Grrrrrrr. I was hoping to get them before we go to Michigan in 3 weeks, but I suspect that is not going to happen.

My weight has been going down, albeit slowly. I have about 11 pounds to go for the big 100. I would really like to be there by the time we go to Michigan (tick tock tick tock) but if it doesn't happen I will be fine with that, after all.... it's just a number on the scale. I will get there, if not before my trip then after.

My restriction has been pretty good. I still make the occasional not so great choice. I do not beat myself up though. This is a learning process, I do not make bad choices that often, this is NOT a diet.....it's a way of life and..... I am, after all, human.

I am still dealing with the monster in law issues. She was pronounced as being in remission a couple of months ago. We got tomorrow for another CT scan to see if the cancer is back. It will come back. This is not curable. It is just a waiting game.

I am a bit irritated with her. I really have done a lot these past 7 months or so to extend her life. All she does is lie in bed. She is pretty much in bed 23 hours a day. She gets up to go to the bathroom, or make herself a cheese sandwich (which she takes back to bed to eat) Once or twice a month she wants to go out and spend her social security check. We will usually go out to eat then to Walmart or something. We also usually grab a bite to eat after her doctors appointments. Other than that she is in bed.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure she is depressed. But still..... why bother with chemo and radiation if all you are going to do is lay there til you die?

I nag her all the time. I'm sure she thinks I am an A1 bitch. And I am. I bug her about getting up.... I prod her (hey.....maybe a cattle prod??), I goad her, I beg her. Nothing works. I told her today that if the CT scan comes back bad she HAS to make a decision. I asked her if she just wants to lay there the next 2 years. I asked her why she has been doing all she can medically but is just laying there and shortening her life. I told her that she will not survive any sort of chemo (or possibly a drug trial) if she does not get up and get her heart beating.

I just don't know what else to do. Hmmmmmm...that cattle prod is sounding better and better.

That's my life right now. Later......