Julie's Journey

Monday, August 22, 2011

Been angry lately

I am just pissed off at life right now. My knee hurts and I am STILL waiting for the insurance to come through for my bypass. I know it is going to take at least another 4 months (best case scenario) but it just gets me so angry I have to go through this. I HAD my surgery, I DID the program. I was doing well. I should be having plastic surgery, not be waiting on a seemingly endless waiting list for a bypass. I am so frustrated that that idiot that maimed me is off in another state probably doing the same thing to other people.

I had a girl write me and ask me my opinion of him. What I really, trully wanted to say was "RUN!!!!!" and tell her not ot let him anywhere near her with a scalpel. Instead I kind of soft soaped it and hinted around that she probably wanted to find a different doctor. I guess I was afraid of getting sued. Stupid. I would not have told her anything that wasn't true. I would have told her I almost died because he didn't take care of me post surgically. I would have told her I was pretty sure he was high when I went for my one week post surgical appointment. I would tell her this is the reason I felt that I needed emergency surgery and came so close to sepsis that I could easily have died. I would tell her that I blame him for my erosion. I know this is a possible complication. But really..... 2 patients of his????? (that I know of) This is such a fairly uncommon complication, and to have 2 patients within a couple of months?? Coincidince? I think not.

I am still having gastric issues (chest pain and left arm pain and numbness after eating... and we won't EVEN get into the horrific belching from all that rotting food just sitting down there). Not that this is stopping me, of course. I have gained back almost 30 pounds!!!!

I am so angry. At myself, at fate, at life, at the insurance company, and at that asshole who did the original lapband surgery.

I could just explode.



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