Julie's Journey

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

So depressed....

I went and picked up my CT scan today and took it to Dr Metz. He agreed I have a very large hernia, he also told me he will not repair it til my BMI is 35. I swear back in November at my last fill he told me a BMI of 40. That is another 60 pounds or so. We figured it out... at a pound a week it is going to take a year and a half!!!!!! I was hoping to get it repaired sometime in the forseeable future.

He told me that I could find someone to do it now.... but that it will just tear again for the 4th time. I am so down about this. I really feel like I am never going to get there.

He was going on and on about how well I'm doing.... are you freaking kidding me???? He was telling me I have been losing one pound a week, so he considers that good. I realize that is what you should expect with the band, but I just feel like I am taking one step forward and two steps back. I know I will get over this (I really do know I am doing OK) I am just quite disappointed about the visit to him. The thought of being in all this pain for the next year or more is quite depressing . I think I'll go have a good cry and get over it.

2 Comments:

Blogger MindyNTexas said...

I ma sorry you are dissapionted.
I dont know what the hernia feels like . You are doing a great job though , maybe if you get another fill or 2 the weight loss will pick up ? there are always ways to speed it up but if not you are doing great !
Hang in there im sorry
Mindy

February 17, 2009 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger Diz said...

It's ok to be depressed and have a good cry. But he's right. You are doing well and will continue to do so. I'm hugging you right now. We'll get past this.

February 28, 2009 at 3:39 PM  

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