So depressed....

I went and picked up my CT scan today and took it to Dr Metz. He agreed I have a very large hernia, he also told me he will not repair it til my BMI is 35. I swear back in November at my last fill he told me a BMI of 40. That is another 60 pounds or so. We figured it out... at a pound a week it is going to take a year and a half!!!!!! I was hoping to get it repaired sometime in the forseeable future.

He told me that I could find someone to do it now.... but that it will just tear again for the 4th time. I am so down about this. I really feel like I am never going to get there.

He was going on and on about how well I'm doing.... are you freaking kidding me???? He was telling me I have been losing one pound a week, so he considers that good. I realize that is what you should expect with the band, but I just feel like I am taking one step forward and two steps back. I know I will get over this (I really do know I am doing OK) I am just quite disappointed about the visit to him. The thought of being in all this pain for the next year or more is quite depressing . I think I'll go have a good cry and get over it.

I've decided....

I have decided to definetly make an appt with Dr Metz (the lap band surgeon who took over after dr Mel left) I am going to call on Monday to make an appointment. I will probably go pick up my CT scan results for him to see too.

I am going to ask him about having a pannulectomy (removal of the "apron", or hanging down part of the stomach) at the same time because of medical neccessity. I , personally, believe having a hernia repaired in late June and having it come back by November says there is a problem there. I have been reserching this online the last hour or two, and I suspect the insurance company will not go for it. It appears that recurrent hernias (this is my 3rd in the exact same place) is not good enough criteria for this procedure. Bummer. I am still going to ask him if he would be able to perform this surgery, and ask him to try to pre-auth it. I don't expect much to come of it though ;(

I finally figured out why BC/BS made me so miserable while trying to get my original lap band surgery OK'd. Every time someone at the doctors office (OR I) called we got different answers. I couldn't believe an insurance company could have so many idiots working for it. Well.... now I'm one of those idiots!! Working with the senior supplement plan now, I realize how difficult it can be to give proper info... and how many people don't even try. I just DREAD having to go through that whole thing again. I know how hard it can be to get proper benefit info (especially when I already pretty much know this will be a uphill, fruitless battle) but... I am still going to try.

I just went to a BMI calculator, and it looks like I will have to lose 28 pounds more to get to a BMI of 40 (Dr Metz told me he would not do the repair til I am at a 40 or less) So, I guess that will be my next mini-goal, after the one for minus 75.. I need to lose 11 pounds to get to 75 pounds down (I am aiming for early April for this). The good news looking at it that way is that I will only have another 17 to lose at that point. Definetely doable when looked at like that!!!

Hope everyone is doing well.... more later.....

driver's licences, Cat scan and other things....

I went to get my Colorado drivers license last week. They asked me for my weight (they actually put your weight on your licence here ;0 ) When they asked me for my weight I told them what I will be at -100 pounds as my weight. Hey..... I'm almost there.

I went for my CT scan on Tuesday. It took 4 tries to get the IV started
Thursday I had to go in to have some blood drawn. I have not had my 6 month blood tests done yet. I was at the doctors for 2 hours.... I was poked about 10 times (I lost count) and still they didn't get enough blood. I need to go to a lab to get more drawn.

Most importantly.... the doctor called me today. They didn't find any cats ;))) but I do have a large ventral hernia. It's in the same place as I had it the last 2 times ;(((( I guess I will be scheduling surgery.... again. I'm not sure who I am going to see, or when I am going to try to have it done. The doctor gave me a referral for a surgeon at the hospital close to us. I was going to call him... but am thinking I should stay with the lap band guy who took over my care. I really don't think I should have someone poking around who is not familiar with bands. I am thinking I will try to schedule it in May or so... when I get back from MI (my niece is getting married and we will be going for the wedding) A lot of it will depend on when he is willing to do it, since he told me he would not do the repair until I am at a BMI of 40 or less. (I am almst there now)

That's about it for now. I will post again tomorrow when I do my official weight.

Later....