new pics

I added a new set of pics. I really don't see much difference (OK, maybe a tiny, slight bit in the backside...or am I just imagining it??) Today I noticed that my legs are getting really saggy. Soon I am going to have 2 kneecaps ;O

I took my measurments the other day, since I know that with the exercise I may show inch loss but no weight loss. I will update when that changes.

Tata till next time...

I've been sick

I have some sort of stomach virus. While it is a good way to lose weight (I've lost 5 pounds in 3 days) I would not recommend it!! It might be worth it, if I didn't know I will "find" that weight again as soon as I start eating. I am so paranoid about throwing up with the band, at least I didn't do that!!! My nurse came out yesterday, and told me if I wasn't able to drink water or keep it in for the next couple days I should go to the ER. It is really easy to get dehydrated here in Denver. I am hoping I am over the worst of it.

I was only able to get to the gym once last week ;(( I had to take my MIL to the doctors on Monday, I went on Wed, then was sick on Fri. It probably wouldn't have mattered on Friday anyway, they closed the pool to the public. There has been a lot on the news about kids almost drowning in the pool due to lifeguards inefficency, so they had to do some more training. Makes me want to take Kayleigh there for swimming lesons...Not!!!

Right now, I am just looking at getting better and getting back to the gym. More later...

A moment of clarity..

First off... I want to give a big "hi" to all those out there in cyberspace reading my blog. I appreciate all my friends...virtual and otherwise. And Diz, my friend...you can call me Jules, or anything you want!!!

I just wanted to say I had an Aha! moment the other day. I was out to dinner with one of the moms from one of my "older moms" groups. It was just the two of us, so I told her about being banded. I am not hiding it...but I am not advertising it either.

Anyway, we were talking about how much weight I had lost and she asked me how much I waned to lose she asked "about 100?" Bless her heart. I told her, "No, more like 200) She said "You are almost a quarter there!!!" That was a major moment for me, since I have been looking at how far I have to go, instead of how far I have been. Don't get me wrong... I am proud of how much I have lost already... I know that is a great accomplishment. It just that I look at my ticker and see how much I still need to lose and it is a bit discouraging!!! It took that small comment to change it from glass half empty to glass half full!!

More soon...

I need a 12 step program..

...for scale addiction.

I can not go to the bathroom with out weighing myself afterwards. My friend Melissa (who is just having awesome results, by the way) Had her husband hide her scale. I am just not ready to go cold turkey.

Perhaps in a month or two...

Looking forward to 50 pounds

As you can see, I finally passed that pesky 40 pound mark. Now I am aiming for 50 pounds. Kayleigh and I are going to MI 6 weeks from today, and I really want to be down a total of 60 or more by then. I know that is somewhat ambitious, since with the band you are supposed to lose 1-2 a week. I figure if I keep up my swimming (which, by the way..I love) I will hopefully come close.

I was at the gym the other day, and there were a couple of older women in the dressing room with me. As they walked out I noticed one of the women had massive extra skin. I really wanted to ask her about it, but didn't want to be rude. Finally I just went up to her and asked her if she had lost a lot of weight. She told me she had lost 240lbs!!! It was so nice to have someone to talk to about weight loss (she had gastric bypass) She gave me some good advice about eating and exercising. Ater aerobics I was telling her it was our wedding anniversary the next day (8 years!!!) and we were going out to dinner. I told her I didn't know where we should go, and she suggested Olive Garden. That's where we went. I had half a bowl of soup, one bread stick (I used to eat a basket...or two!!!) and a little less than half of my stuffed chicken Marsalla. It was so good!!! I boxed up the rest of the chicken, and all the way home my mouth was watering...I wanted to finish it so badly. (For those non-lapbanders this is considered "head hunger"... wanting to eat when you are not hungry)

I tried to finish the chicken yesterday for breakfast...what a mistake. First thing in the morning my band seems to be a bit tighter. The chicken stuck...badly. I was in pain (you would be too, if you had an elephant sitting on your chest ) I slimed (brought up frothy fluid) I PB'd (productive burp... lets just say you revisit what you just ate), and still it hurt. So.... back to liquids for me yesterday!!!

I was a bit bummed the other day. I have a pair of jeans I was wearing before surgery, I tried them on, expecting them to be loose. They were not!!! They are the strechy kind of material, and when I used to put them on after being freshly washed they were quite tight (sometimes I had to lay down to zip them) and within an hour or so they would get looser. They weren't tight at all when I put them on fresh out of the dryer, so I guess they were a bit looser than before. I guess I just wanted them to fall off me!!! I just can't wait to have to buy new clothes. We went thrift shoping the other day, and I bought myself a couple of smaller tops... I just can't wait to fit into them!!!

My day will come soon.....

I am tired!!!

I have been waiting for my wound to heal before going swimming, but I fianlly figured Screw it...I'm going! I have been using the film type tape that they were using to hold on my wound vac (I kept it when the vac was returned...it irritates my skin a lot less than anything else ) I figured it would be airtight, since it is in the shower.

I dropped Kayleigh off at preschool at 12:30. It took me 10 minutes to get to the rec center. I went in, paid my $7, and asked if they had water arobics classes. Would you beleive they had one from 1:15 to 2:15?? I got dressed and went into the big pool. It is really nice. It has a zero depth pool, a couple of water slides and this circular area around the slides where the water is kind of a whirlpool (you know--like when you were a kid and would go round and round a pool, staying near the sides?? Soon the water would be pushing you along) Anyway, the water is really strong like that. I think they call it a water walking river. I went around that 3 times, and when I went to get out my legs were rubbery.

After that I went into the other pool area (the lap pool area) I swam a few laps, then the class started. It was great. It was a hour long class, when it was over and I went to get out my legs felt like I had a 20 pound weight on each ankle!!! I went into the hot tub/whirlpool for a few minutes then went and got dressed. I was able to go back to the school and pick up Kayleigh with time to spare.

I am soooo excited about the exercise I did today. I plan on going at least 2x a week. It just works out perfectly, with the classes Mon/Wed at the perfect time for me to attend.

Once I get in a bit better shape, they have a huge workout center with all state of the art equipment as well as a running track and a climbing wall. I think I will stick with swimming for now, though ;)))

Tomorrow is weigh in day,so more tomorrow...

Reasons for wanting to lose weight

I am in a bit of a funk right now. I feel like I will be stalled forever. I actually have done quite well, considering the fact that I have not done a lick of exercise since my banding. I bought some tennis shoes at Wal-Mart a couple of weeks ago--- I need to try them on. If they fit, I need to get my fat ass out and walk. If they don't I need to take them back, find some that do fit, put them on and get my fat ass out and walk.

I really would love to go swimming. I am just waiting for my wound to heal. Of course, that happening is a double edged sword. I will be able to go swimming... which will be so much easier on my poor abused knees than walking. The flip side of that is that I will have to get a J-O-B. We really need the money, supporting two households for a year and a half can be quite financially damaging, take my word for it. The other day my husband handed me the want ads "just in case you may want to look at them" none too subtle, huh? I know it's inevitable, I just don't want to have to walk into interviews and see that "My God, she's huge" look on their faces. OK...so maybe that look is all in my head.... but either way, I still see it.

Now, on to my list (in no particular order):

Kayleigh
being healthy
playing with Kayleigh
not seeing "that look" when I go to a job interview, or meet new people.
seeing Kayleigh grow up
not having to use seatbelt extenders..in cars or planes
going to a restauraunt and not worrying the chair will be too tight, or the booth too small
feeling better physically
being able to walk up stairs
riding a bike
getting a better job (I want to go to nursing school)
not being afraid to meet new people
being able to get up on stage and sing karaoke (OK, I can do that now... but I worry about what people are thinking about how I look)
not thinking of the scale as the enemy
hiking (I have all this beautiful terrain to discover in CO, and all I see it from is the car)
going to an amusement park
playing tennis or raquetball
feeling more self confident


That is my list for now... there are lots more reasons, I just can't think of them right now. I will post them when I do.