Julie's Journey

Sunday, April 26, 2009

My MIL so pisses me off

Everyone who knows me knows I do not particularly like my MIL (never have, never will) She has treated my husband like her own personal bank his entire life. Five years ago she sold her home in Ohio (after my husband and BIL fixed it up... at their expense) She cleared about 50K for the house and moved up to Michigan. Kayleigh was a new born at the time. Judy moved in with us "to help take care of Kayleigh for a couple weeks" She then proceded to spend ALL her money at the casino in 3 months, all the while looking me in the face and lying about the fact she had "plenty of money left". Did I mention the fact she is a pathological liar??? Seriously.... she would not know the truth, about anything, if it bit her in the ass. Anyway.... her money was gone, and I have been stuck with her the past 5 years. (she even moved with us twice!) It has not been pretty. It was getting to the point that one of us was leaving... and I didn't care who. I seriously considered Kayleigh and I not coming back from the next visit to MI.

Now, things have changed somewhat since her cancer diagnosis. I still don't like her... but I do feel sorry for her, and am doing everything I can to help extend her life.

One of my biggets gripes about her (other than the contant unending lying, the whining, and mooching) has been the fact that she has not respected anything I have requested her to do in 5 years!!!!! Including anything to do with Kayleighs care/upbringing.

Anyway... getting to the point of my little rant: before we went to MI she bought a kit to make a pineapple upsode down cake. Now... pineapple is my favorite thing in the world. I uesd to say I would eat shit if it was pineapple flavored!!!! I said that would be torture to me... her making the cake and me not being able to eat it (believe me... I would not be able to stop at one piece... it would haunt me til it was gone) Ron asked her specifically NOT to make it until we were gone to MI. She waited until the day we were heading home to make it... then realized there were no eggs. She made it today. The minute I walked out of the bedroom this morning the smell assaulted me. I was hungry, and could have run out there and shoved the whole thing in my mouth. I come out and she's like "I made the cake today" I got quite angry and asked her "I was gone for 15 days... you couldn't have made it then... like I asked????" She told me she didn't feel like going out to get eggs earlier (though she managed to go to Kohls and buy herself a couple of over priced tops, as well as being able to buy candy for my child (which we limit) for her Easter basket.) She claims she doesn't remember us both asking her (quite a few times) to make it while I was not home. I am just soooo angry over this total lack of respect towards me. I guess it is just par for the course though....

Saturday, April 25, 2009

a large setback

Well, before I went to MI I gained 5 pounds. Not completeley sure why... perhaps PMS weight gain. Then while I was in MI I gained another 8 (this is so painfull to even admit... let alone put in writing) As usual, while in MI I was wayyyy too tight. Instead of trying my best I kind of lost my teeny tiny little mind. I ate so badly. I refound my love of Reeses Peanut Butter cups, I also had quite a few vanilla milkshakes from McDonalds, as well as eating an entire ice cream mud pie. I brought my protien powder... but it never came out of the closet where I put it at my grandmothers house. I am kicking myself now, of course (hindsight being 20/20 and all that) but... what's done is done. I just need to get myself back on track again. I just need to keep my next mini goal in mind (-100 pounds.... hopefully by my one year bandiversary in late June)

Well, on to other news. My MIL finished her first round of chemo while we were in MI. She also had a bone scan, which came back negative. She starts her next round on Monday. After that she needs to have a chest CT. If the spot on her upper lung is gone it is bad news, that would mean the cancer has spread past the mass in the lungs. If the spot is still there it means it was not cancer and she can have radiation, which would give her as the doctor says, "a much better outcome"

Physically she seems to be doing OK. It is so hard to tell, since I suspect she is really playing up some of her issues (I could be wrong, but I am so used to her and her Munchausens, I tend to take all her complaints with a grain of salt anymore.) Her main complaint is tiredness, which the doctors office told her should be gone a week or so after chemo. She also claims she fell a couple of times while we were in MI. I just don't know what to believe....

I guess that is all for now. Later...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

sorry I haven't posted lately

Things have been a bit crazy around here the last few weeks. My mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer. She has lived with us for 5 years, and about every 6 months or so she would have some sort of medical crisis. She would be admitted to the hospital for a week or so, but they would never find anything wrong. These never had anything to do with her issues now. I am pretty sure she has Munchausens. A couple of weeks ago she claimed she was having chest and back pains and her left arm was numb. I'll be honest.... I did not believe her, but took her to the ER anyway... in case this time she really was sick.

Her heart was fine, but they did a chest X-ray and found a mass in her right lung. What a kick in the ass... fake your way (in my opinion) into the hospital and get a completely unrelated terminal diagnosis.

They did a biopsy via the lung while she was in the hospital, but it came back indeterminate. a week after she came out I had to take her to a different hospital for a biopsy of the lymph nodes near the lungs. It came back positive for cancer. The doctor told me they did not know what kind of cancer. It could be either lymphoma or lung cancer (though he was pretty sure it was lung). We went to the oncologist on Monday and he told her it was small cell lung cancer (the more aggresive kind) He told her without treatment she had a couple of months, and with treatment, best case would be 1-2 years.

We had to go Tuesday to change her drivers liscence to Colorado (to try to get Medicaid) then we had to go to Social Services. It was craxy there, so we got the paperwork and Kayleigh and I went back Wednesday to turn on the paperwork. I had to stand in line for an hour.. and boy my dogs were barking!!! Thursday we had to go to the oncologsit office to see the chemo nurse, then Friday (yesterday) we needed to go to the hospital to have her chemo port inserted. Needless to say, it has been a busy time for me. Chemo starts Monday. kayleigh and I are heading to Michigan on Tuesday (I really can't cancel... my grandparents are 91 and in bad health....I am afraid this will be the last time I see them... I can't cancel) Ron is going to have to take her Tuesday and Wednesday.

I'll be honest... Judy has never been my favorite person, and her living in my home the last five years has not been easy, but I feel so bad for her. No one should have to go through this. She is handling things a lot better than I would, and I have told her so. She has been sleeping a lot (depression, I'm sure) but other than that she appears to have it pretty well together. I would still be sitting in a corner somewhere sobbing. I give her every credit. We are going to do everything we can do to fight this terrible disease. It is not curable... but I will do all I can to make her time left as long and comfortable as possible.

So.... my weight has been fluctuating a bit lately. I am somewhat bummed that I will not make my 75 pound goal before we leave for Michigan on Tuesday, but still, I know 71 pounds is nothing to sneeze at ;))

I will try to post Monday after we get back from chemo.