Would I do it all again?

In a word, yes. Thank you for asking that oozyxena. I am officially at 4 months today. I would never have been able to lose over 50 pounds (and keep it off) in less than 4 months pre-band.

Do I wish I hadn't had all the other issues? Yes, of course. At the beginning did I have regrets and a case of "What did I do to myself's?" I sure did. But, whats done is done.

I know 5o+ pounds is good, but I am emmbarassed to admit...I am a bit disappointed. I have been comparing my loss to other peoples (wrong, I know, so very wrong) and feel like I am "falling behind" I knew going in it was work, and nothing would come easy... or in this case, the weight wouldn't go easy. I know I should be happy for what I have lost so far (and I am... happy and thankfull). Please don't think I'm not. I have always been a immediate gratification sort of girl, and am just impatient. I am setting a goal for myself right now of 75 pounds by years end. I believe that is not expecting too much, and a perfectly reasonable goal. If I don't make it (and there is no reason I shouldn't) I will just pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going until I hit that goal. How adult of me, huh??

Kayleigh and I are heading to the airport soon to fly to MI. I am looking forward to seeing my friends and family. I am a little concerned about my weight..though I think it might actually be nice for me not to obsess over my scale for 10 days ;))

So...until I return, take it easy everyone.

what a difference 4 weeks can make

It was picture day today!! Even though I still barely see it when I look in the mirror, I can see a big difference in the pictures since last month.

I went to my doctor Tuesday (she hadn't seen me since before the surgery) she was quite suprised (and pleased) with the difference. When some days are harder than others, I break out the pics and look at how far I have come. I would say without hesitation that I love my band, but every once in a while the whole enormity of what I have done comes back to me, and I have a second or two of uneasiness. The old "OMG, what have I done to myself?" I will admit....those days are coming less and less, but it can still be tough when you want to eat. (I still have mental pangs as I drive by fast food joints) I guess it is just a stumbling block on the way to a smaller, better me.

I have been doing pretty well weight-wise still. Kayleigh and I are heading to Michigan a week from today. I am looking forward to seeing my friends, as well as family. My sister, Sheila, my niece Amy and I are going to the Windsor Casino on Friday!!! That should be fun. My friend Coryliss also wants to go to MGM. We have a Halloween party on Saturday, I will probably get together with one of my moms groups one night for dinner (my friend Theresa and I have birthdays 2 days apart, we always celebrate at P.F. Changs)... and, of course, the evil trick-or-treating. I think Kayleigh is looking forward to it for the first time. I feel kind of bad... she gets all that candy, and we only let her have a piece or two (we are trying to teach her good nutrition, and keep her from having a weight problem) Mean, mean parents ;))

I guess that's all for now.... more soon...

My gift to me

My friend from swimming, Amy (the older woman I have mentioned before that lost so much weight) told me I needed to treat myself to something at a certain amount of weight loss. I decided on every 50 pounds. So.... last night I went on ebay and ordered a MP3 player. It's really nice looing. It looks like an I phone. It is 8GB so I'll have plenty of room for music, pics and maybe even a movie (if I can figure out how to download one, that is ;) It is coming from Australia, so I am hoping I get it before Kayleigh and I go to MI (in 15 days)

I also ordered Baraitric vitamins the other day. I ordered Vitamins, iron (like I need iron with my constipation problem lately... sorry if TMI), B12 for under the tounge and Calcium. Of coused, after I took the first calcium I read the label and saw it includes vitamin K. This is what you are given to clot better. Probably won't go to well with my blood thinners and clottong problem. I am going to make an appt with my PCP on Tuesday (hopefully) for an ear issue, I will ask her about it then.

Oh yeah... did I mention that when I told Ron about the MP3 player he said, "That'll be your birthday present (Nov 10). Yippie.... I was planning on using my own account to pay for it. That's $50 more I can use at the casino when I go in MI or Canada ;))) Pai gow poker here I come....

My apologies

To anyone I have my new posts sent automatically to: I was playing around last night, tring to set up a slideshow of my pictures. A couple of times it went in as a post (which triggered an email to you) One of them was a download for a virus scan than doesn't want to leave the screen, and locks up the computer (or really slows it down). I apologize for that. It doens not appear to have done any real damage though (happily.. I would feel terrible if I messed up someones system)

julie

great news

Today I am at 50 pounds!!!!! I am so pleased with myself. Also...did I mention I am pretty sure my belly is all better? Heather (my nurse) used something called Silvasorb on it. It is some sort of silver in a petroleum like base. It has worked miracles on me. All the drainage is gone. Yayyyyyy. We are going to go a week with out the silvasorb and make sure it is done.

More Thursday...

My new goal

I went to Lane Bryant yesterday to get a couple new bras. The one I was wearing was wayyyyy too big. The ones I bought are 6 inches smaller (granted, the one I had was really old and streched out. It never really fit all that well.) Now the girls are up where they are supposed to be!!! Anyway, I was looking through the 50% off rack and absolutley fell in love with a pair of jeans. (see pic down below) they are 3 sizes smaller than what I am wearing now. I have 90 days to return them. I have decided if I am not in them by Christmas, they are going back. I compared them to the jeans I am wearing now, and there is a massive size difference!!! My nurse, Heather, told me last night that by Christmas those jeans are going to be too big on me. Gee, I hope she's right.

I asked Ron the other night if he sees any change in me. Other than in pictures of my ass-end I don't see any. He said "well...when you start working out and firm up a bit..." I'll take that as a no ;O What the heck does he think I have been doing 3 times a week?? I was telling the ladies at the pool about it, and they were like "Oh, yeah, I can see it. Even your face is thinner than it was" One of the women there tells me every time she sees me how she can see me losing weight, and she didn't even know about the band!!! I just love my new gym friends. They are the nicest, most friendly and helpful group of women.

Well, I am at 48 pounds now. Hopefully I will be posting 50 pounds next week! I hope to be posting a pic in my new jeans soon too ;)))

a non band message

My old friend from Michigan, Renee called me yesterday to tell me her dad had passed away. Even though we had kinda lost touch the last 10 years or so, I still feel bad for her, and wish I could be there for her. Kayleigh and I are not going back to Mi for 3 weeks, though.

This really got me thinking about my own dad. I think how glad I am he was able to see me get married (even though I can't look at my wedding pictures...they make me cry. He was already on oxygen, in a wheelchair and had that deer in the headlights look in the pictures) I think how sad I am that he never got to meet Kayleigh, or even know about her. He has a wonderful, amazing little grandaughter.

I didn't always treat him as well as I could or should have. I remember after his heart attack him telling me he wanted so badly for me to lose weight, because he didn't want me to go through what he was going through. I'm doing it now dad....

For everyone out there who is lucky enough to still have their parents, I want to say please treat them with kindness and patience (especially when they are exasperating, or just plain piss you off) you never know when they'll be gone.

Now that I am crying all over the computer, will say bye for now.

Til next time ....